How do you tell your child that you’re dating?

Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock. Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios. But the problem is a demographic one. Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree.

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Prioritize whom you tell first. Here’s how to spill the beans with care. You’re so excited you could run naked across a football field with the words, “We’re getting hitched! But a little restraint can go a long way, and potentially ward off any hurt feelings. Here’s who to tell, when and how when you’re ready to start telling people, of course!

Kids Come First If either of you has children from a previous marriage, they should be the first to know—even before your parents. They’re the ones who are getting a new stepparent and maybe a stepsibling or two , and they’ll need time to get comfortable with the idea. Give your kids lots of undivided attention: